Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Powering Down

In 1995 I bought my first computer, a power mac. As a substitute teacher I began to explore the world wide web using the Mosaic web browser. From there, I became intrigued with how technology could be used in the classroom. From then on, I was "plugged in" to the world of technology.

During the last two years my ventures into the web 2.0 world has been exciting. Devouring books and blog posts, creating wikis and google docs, connecting via twitter, plurk, Discovery Educator Network, Keystone Technology Integrators, and Classrooms for the Future coaches, using, mac, pc, and iphone has become an integral part of my life.

Currently some professional development efforts have failed miserably. I have started to really ponder the concept of "professionalism" and to reconsider "putting myself out there" so to speak in terms of sharing with others. My passion for reaching our digital learners, making learning meaningful for them, and for the concept of instilling life long learning has driven me in my ventures thus far. As I am readying myself to leave the role of technology integration coach and re-enter life as a third grade teacher, I am saddened. In order to protect myself emotionally I have decided to step back a bit. Perhaps it is time for a break from the intense world I have been experiencing, not because I am overwhelmed, but because I am not making a difference.

My recent purchase was a regular cell phone. My iphone has become an ipod. It's time to refocus. I am not discouraged, but disheartened and am looking forward to some clarity of thought and restoration of some self-esteem.

3 comments:

tyost said...

Lori,

I too am having a Year Two slump, some of which was the lightyear jump CFF training and bootcamp put me beyond my peers.

I took my friend and coworker along to PETE&C and I am in awe of what he has never seen. We eat lunch together everyday, interact professionally and I missed bringing him along for the ride. He was the top tech teacher in the district, and is very good, but has had such limited exposure that he learned tons at PETE.

I don't believe you can enhance personal knowledge too fast, as we all learn at our own pace, but the gap created between "us" and "them" seems so great that the effort seems insurmountable.

The reality is that we need to readjust our approach and work collaboratively to support and foster the change we believe in. I can't do that from a classroom. Keep your chin up, and keep trying.

Robin said...

Wow Lori...there are more of us that feel that way than you may realize. This is my 3rd year as CFF and even though my district wants me to stay I asked to go back and teach one course-so my position will still be there , but not full time. I want to teach the kids what no one else is bothering to teach them. I just met with my Super today about new professional development models. I feel like there are so many obstacles that are far out of my reach. Hang in there...know that you made a difference...technology is contagious-people will see that in you and want to learn, its a slow process but it happens.

Scott said...

Lori,

I've been following your posts to Twitter about what had been going on as well as chatting with you personally at both EduCon and Pete&C. I understand where you are right now. I'm sad that's where you are, but I understand it.

I certainly hope this post wasn't a goodbye to your blog. You have always shared much that others can learn from. As you return to your classroom in the coming months, I hope you'll share what you are doing there because you are an inspiring educator that many others look to lead. If the classroom is the place for you (as it is for me), let us, in the words of the Keystone Integrators Program, "lead from the middle."